Enough...

You know, there is a point in most situations where we say "enough"...

We say enough from time to time in sadness, depression, anger, frustration, even occassionally have to put the brakes on too much laughter, as sometimes it's just not appropriate anymore.

This particular time I'm saying enough to the part of my life where Robb is concerned. After arguing with him last night, I realized, I am, around him someone that nobody knows--not even me. This is the Carla that he knows. This is the Carla I have exposed here on my blog recently. He spoke a while back on either his blog or in the comments section of someone's blog, maybe even mine, that, as people, we bring out certain aspects of our personality around certain people, both good AND bad...This is true. I have never felt the way I do as when I'm dealing with him. I honestly feel the need to push his buttons, and am convinced he tries to push mine. I am sure that is something that will be denied til the last breath is taken...Oh well, does not matter...this is just my opinion...I'm entitled to that. I can't believe all that I have enmeshed myself with the last couple of months...Just a roller coaster. I know that I have been accused of things by him that I have NEVER been accused of in my life by others, friends, family, ex boyfriends, etc.

Life is way too friable. I think about things people are going thru. I am simply astonished at the things I have occupied my time with, talking about my emotions...I most certainly don't have it as bad as others. Now, I do kind of think it's a right of passage for a single person of this day and age to place a certain amount of drama in our lives. Haha...

But, back to the point at hand. I really do NOT like who I am around and dealing with Robb. I don't like what I become. Sometimes I think I would like to be friends with him, but, we are just two different people, from two different worlds. Too bad we didn't see this from the beginning. It would have saved a lot of trouble. Nothing to "fix." There is no way to "fix" who we are. For either of us to change means to change who we are as people.

Who knows. This whole thing has just enervated me to an extent I don't even like to think about. I know all of you are TIRED of it, as well.

I would like to say a BIG thank you to Robb...Thanks for giving me the directive last night. I don't know if I would have taken that myself, especially not now...But thinking about it, it is certainly a means to an end. An end to all my frustration.

When all is said and done, I'm not sure what I will recognize as something I have learned from this so-called relationship I had with Robb, from beginning to end, but, thanks for the experience...

NOW...Back to my old self, the one most of you love and who loves most of you AND on to the next great adventure, whateever that may be...