The hard days...

I am really having it rough today. I mean, I do have a lot to be thankful for. I get to talk to my husband several times a day, at least. Sometimes I feel selfish for getting so upset. I know there are women who only wish they could communicate with their husbands this much. Not only that, at least he's safe and alive. I know that sounds WAY out there, but, true.

In so many ways, I'm lucky. My husband is safe. I get to talk to him. This time he's only gone for a month. But, I love him. I am married to him, and I MISS HIM! God has been so good to us. I keep thanking God everyday for my marriage and the relationship Lin and I have.

I still get sad though. I still have rough days. Just like his last six month deployment, Sundays are turning out to be one of the harder days. Not sure why. Sundays are days I go to church to worship God. Lin has been very accepting of that and joins me each Sunday he is home. You have no idea how much that means to me. I love the fact that I married a Christian. I definately see where being "equally yoked" in terms of religion is one of the most important parts of a marriage. When your religion and your belief system is in essence your foundation, how could it possibly ever work differently? Wednesday was the hardest day though so far. That was the first day that I went to church without him. I haven't made it on a Sunday, but, I'm sure when that time comes, it will be hard then too! I'll be ok.

Everyone asks me if I'm ok. I know they are asking out of a caring nature. I just want to scream "NO! I'm not!" I am honestly not ok. I miss my husband so much. I have these fits of crying. I feel extremely lonely. For the first time in my life, I decline the offer to be amongst large crowds. All I want to do is just be with my husband.

I so can't wait til he is home with me...

Anyway, I just wanted to write just a bit...