Tears

This whole weekend I have been focused on one thing: A tear I saw fall from a man's eye. I just cannot stop thinking about it. It absolutely broke my heart...Let's talk about tears...

Webster's defines a tear as the following:

1tear
Pronunciation: 'tir
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English tæhher, tEar; akin to Old High German zahar tear, Greek dakry
1 a : a drop of clear saline fluid secreted by the lacrimal gland and diffused between the eye and eyelids to moisten the parts and facilitate their motion b plural : a secretion of profuse tears that overflow the eyelids and dampen the face
2 : a transparent drop of fluid or hardened fluid matter (as resin)
3 plural : an act of weeping or grieving
- tear·less adjective

That definition just describes the physical aspect of what the tear is...Hey, it's a noun...I guess it's correct? Does it really define what a tear really means to us, though? Not hardly. Tears will come in just one long strand down someone's face, or a constant stream of emotion that seemingly has no end, or just fall from the eye and land somewhere just to dry up and be forgotten about, while the emotions behind the tear sometimes never really flee far from our minds...There are all kinds of emotions, backing these tears...circumstances beyond the comprehension of the next person, for we all feel differently...

Here are some of the reasons I have cried, and for which I have witnessed:

*A tear that fell from a man's face, landing on the nose of his dog as he prepares to say goodbye to his dog--possibly never to see him again
*As a lover walks away knowing they will never see this person they love again, because one has just broken the other's heart
*As a father says goodbye to his child before dropping them off at college that very first weekend
*As your best friend told her funniest joke to date
*As you realize that the man of your dreams has FINALLY arrived--it has taken you long enough, ROBB!!! LMAO
*As you are going insane because you have just dropped a drill on your toe and your father drives slower than a turtle and the closest hospital happens to be nearly an hour away!!!
*As you arrive at some amazing spiritual clarity
*You just watched the movie, "The Green Mile"
*As you describe your best friend, Buffy
*During your most frustrating moment at work
*As you drive away from work for the last time, knowing you probably won't see some of those dear people ever again
*As your lover touches you for the very first time in such an intimate way
*As you say goodbye to a loved one you will never hear, see, or touch again, for they have passed on to the next life
*As you hear your baby's first cry
*A father who is giving up his daughter to a new man in her life, who will now love, honor and protect her
*As your heart breaks for people in a crisis situation, in which you have no control over

I know some of you are wondering, Carla, where is this coming from??? I stopped by a friend's house to say goodbye to his dog...He is deploying in a few months for a year and a half...just thought I would die as I watched a tear fall from the eye of that man and as that tear fell, it landed on nose of his dog...that moment broke my heart into a million pieces (I love dogs and I'll never see this dog again)...I just started thinking of all the many reasons people cry...So many times we have no clue what all is behind a tear...So many memories...so many hopes and shattered dreams...the ending of a place in one's life, the beginning of new lives for others...I could just go on and on...

Robb

Good morning...

I hope the day is finding everyone well...It's Tuesday and I am just slightly bored...Yes, I am at work, and I have plenty to do...I just am not into it right at the moment, and thought, well, if I write, then I might be more inclined to get some stuff done...I just have so much on my mind today...

Life is just fine...Life is going slow right now, however...I don't know why I have such a problem with that...Why would I ever want to rush thru? I also feel a tad bit guilty for feeling so bored...especially since the man of my dreams, the man I love is probably TEN TIMES more bored than I...

I mean, let's see...I have all my new friends...I have my work, which until he gets back, is and always has been my life...My family is like three hours away, now by car instead of by plane, my life long girlfriends are only as far as three hours away, I can get in my car and go anywhere or nowhere...I can listen to anything, watch anything I want...Where is my mind at?

I just love him and would rather have him home...His friends are here, not there...He is not so happy with work right now for various reasons...His family is here, I am here...His car is here, his life long friends are here, and he can't just go wherever, whenever...

How retarded am I????

Oh, this guy, Robb, the man of my dreams, the man I love...He is also now known by Todd, OH EXCUSE ME, ROBERT!!! As "the man who tamed Carla"...AS IF! No, I do find myself wanting to be the best person I can be because of Robb...

Please don't ask why I am going on like this...Here, now...I have no clue why in the world I am going on like this...

Please know, Robb, when you read this, just how amazing you are, and how much I adore you, and love you...

Girlfriends...

Hi.

I was thinking about my girlfriends today...there are three different types...

1. Might-as-well-be-family Girlfriends
2. Fair-weather Girlfriends
3. Best Girlfriends

The most unique are those who are might-as-well-be-family girlfriends...these are a group of girls who you have probably known your entire life...you cross every boundary known to friendships you can...yet, you still love em. They still love you. You tell it like it is, despite anything...There are so many twists and turns to these relationships, it would make a soap look boring...In fact, we should start writing scripts and sending them in...they would most definately be award winning...My experience with these friendships, depending on the chic, you may talk everyday, you may talk ten times a day, you may just talk once a month...things just pick up right where you left off...No stories you ever share will be jaw-droppers, we just cannot surprise each other...LOL...these chics you know as well as you know yourself. We mostly skip all the niceness...for outsiders, love is hard to see sometimes...BUT WE DO!!! It's just raw, in your face honesty...You have the potential to drive each other to drinking or tears of laughter and happiness...Either way, emotions are always way high around these. These are the girls you would die for, that you actually live for, that you would walk to the ends of the earth for, no questions asked...THANK YOU, BUFFY, BETSY, TONYA, TINA, AND LISA...YOU ARE THE GREATEST!

Fair-weather girlfriends...You ladies suck! You absolutely are just impossible to deal with...You repulse me greatly...There are very few of you listed here...for a fucking reason...go away...don't talk to me anymore...don't act like you know me when you see me, and you so know you will...Just look away, I know I will Were there signs to your ruthlessness?? Excuses, excuses, excuses...Guess what??? I am NOT buying what you are selling...Passive!! OMG...how passive, non-confrontational, could two idiots be?? That should have been my sign right the fuck there...If you can't handle a confrontation, I'm just not the sweet chic to deal with your ass...We should have stopped there...Turned, and pretend we never even tried to become friends...Hell if I know...These girls--FUCK EM!!! I used to think that if they called me out of the blue, things would just go back and I would get over my aggrevation with them, no, I have come to realize today, that will never happen...the seed has been planted...I just seriously, from the point I publish this post, will forget about these girls forever...I just don't know what to think about you, except, I refuse to turn into you...STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME...YOU DON'T KNOW ME, I DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ME, EITHER, so, stop acting like you do...You are the reason I tend to have very few female friends...You know who you are, names aren't necessary...I will not thank you.

Best Girlfriends are just that...they are so awesome! They are different in that we don't cross lines. We are always kind, have fun, laugh at most things...do absolutely girly things and love it, too...We do things like throw a blanket down, lay on the grass and talk about our men...discuss nail polish...play with each other's hair...help decorate each other's houses and bounce cheesey ass ideas off of each other...We are each other's support in anything...They most of the time graduate to the might-as-well-be-family girlfriends...These are the girls who don't know all your dirty little secrets. In their eyes...your ass is still lily white for as long as you can keep it that way...haha...Thank you, Shelley, Amelia, and Kim! You guys ROCK!!

Now, please, make no mistake, I have other friends, they just don't fall into any of these categories, unfortunately...These listed here are the ones that just strike my chords most...They are all wonderful...