Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas...

I'm not going to go on about Christmas here...No way! I'm just wishing you well this year during the holiday season...I'm not so much in the holiday spirit this year...Every year it seems to get further and further away from my grasp...Not sure why that is...I'm really not even going thru the motions this year...that was last year...LOL!

My thoughts on this warm, rainy, Christmas morning are more about perception and other random thoughts...

Perception is the key, I'm convinced, to everything. From the way we look at art, to the sounds we hear during our days, to the relationships we are apart of.

Shelley and I were discussing this last evening during communion at church...I told her that I feel that in every relationship, esp. those where there are only two involved (I'm talking more along the lines of romantic, intimate relationships here) , one person always cares more. ALWAYS. I have recently learned this. But, here we go back to perception. I feel I cared more. Now,there is a chance, he could say he cared more. It's all in the way we receive love and in the way we are wired to give love. Now as far as just friendships, the same holds true. I have so many friendships, some I know I don't towe the line, others, I know the workload is on me. That's fine, that's expected. I don't know...these were just thoughts that were racing thru my head this morning and I had to get them down here to make me feel better...

I have been thinking alot lately about a change...perhaps a move. Perhaps something as little (really big), as changing my hair color...going back blonde...Hey...that might fit parts of my personality a little better...LOL! It's kind of depressing...For those of you that didn't know, Robb and I are over. Kind of sad. I still love him. I think I came to the conclusion last night, we can't love each other the way we ultimately need to be loved. He's an awesome guy, I'm an awesome chic. Just not what we need for each other. Hopefully we can remain friends. This kind of aggrevates me. Maybe he was right. Maybe I did build him up to something that he wasn't. Not sure about that. There became some trust issues. I won't go into all that. Some of you know the deal, a few will find out later. Justified or not, they were issues. They got in the way. Where do I begin to fix those? I will work on that in a few weeks...Some would call that procrastination, I say, I'm not ready to talk about it.

Back to the change. I went to Pittsburgh a few weeks ago...I loved what I saw of that city. I think it's the fact it's a city. Haha...I'm getting the itch to move again. It's not a nagging itch yet, but, believe me, it will be...I don't belong in a smaller city...at least not alone. I think that when my 3 year mark hits, which will be in July of 2006, if I don't have better things to keep me here, I'm going to actively seek another city to live. Oh, unless I get REALLY lucky, it will take me a minute to find a job and get situated to the point I am going to make a move.

Hmmm...I thought I had put down my list of cities I want to live. Maybe I put down my first list. I am making a new one. San Diego? San Fran? Denver (will ALWAYS be on my list)...New York? Nashville? Mobile? Back to Birmingham? Savannah? Charleston? Phoenix? Too many choices...

So, I'm back dating again...My favs right now? One who is just awesome that we dated BRIEFLY before he had to unexpectedly leave close to a year ago...One who is a serious playboy, I have a feeling, but who knows, maybe he's ok...One wrapped up in a divorce, 3 businesses, and a possible custody battle--limited time...and one who has no idea I am crushing on him...eh...what difference does it make...he lives so far away anyway...

I feel like I am at a serious crossroads right now...Which way to go...which way to go...

In all of my recent turmoil though, I have had the opportunity to really connect with some friends...Through their advice and listening to "their perceptions", I have gotten to know them so much better...Some who I had no idea just how much they care about me. Some hard truths have come out of some of their mouths...Thank you so much...I have been sworn to secrecy with the names...I don't want a terrorist group to come find me...LMAO!!!!

I hope you all continue to have a safe and happy holiday!

Love most of you...

Very funny, OLD story...

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

Last night I had some of my best girlfriends in Fayetteville over for a sleepover--Amelia, Heidi, and Shelley...the cookies were great, the queso was great...the conversations ROCKED!

Well, I think it was Shelley that asked, "...is that "the towers shirt"? Ok...I had this shirt on that I got off of e-bay shortly after 9/11. There were only 911 of these shirts you could even get, and I got one...It's black, with a silhouette of the skyline of NYC WITH the towers. So, yes, this was "the towers shirt." LOL...

You may now be asking...What is the "towers shirt"...Why is this shirt important...Well, important, not really...It does, however, have a VERY funny story along with it...

When I got the shirt, I was living in Birmingham...Those of you who know me, probably won't know my boobs were ALOT bigger at one point--hard to imagine, I know...LOL!!! Anyway, one Sunday afternoon, I was going to hang out with a friend and drink beer...well, I had to walk over to the Western and grab some beer and limes before any festivities would begin...I was looking too cute in black pants, this black shirt, my red shoes and red purse...Well, this guy walks over and stands beside me looking over some random piece of produce situated near the limes I was looking at...and makes the comment..."Man...look at THOSE towers." LMAO!!! Yes, he did say it...I gave him one of my "famous" looks...He then stated, "I will let you slap me now if you want." LOL...I didn't want to slap him...I wanted him to repeat himself! When asked, he did...LOL...Well, he asked me to call him and he would take me out...I said, "No, here is MY business card, you can contact me..." Three days or so later, he called me at work...LOL...We ended up dating for like a year! Yeah, whatever...how romantic...LOL!!!

This story just came up last night and was hysterical to the two that had not ever heard it...I had to post it here...Hope you at least got a slight chuckle out of this...

Perfect Advice...

Here goes, Heidi...I told you I was writing about this...LMAO!

Do you ever get really GOOD advice from an unlikely source? Well, last week I got some...Not so much advice I was asking about...it came about more in the way of a comment...

It was last Sunday, Dec. 11, and Robb and I were walking to find some of his fellow Bears fans (we were in Pittsburgh to see the Steelers/Bears game)...I was just so happy about that game...It's one of those things, you can't be sure if you will ever have the opportunity to do over again...So, I was thinking, as I always am, I just threw this particular thought out there to him...

Let me go back...You know when you are getting ready for something...Like, say, Christmas day, or Graduation Day, or a wedding day...something HUGE...right before you embark on the beginning of the experience, for just a moment, you wish it wasn't that moment...that you knew, only because, the sooner that moment gets here, the sooner it will be over...Like, you want to be able to make the most out of that experience, to prolong it as much as you can...that sort of thing? Do you know what I am talking about?

Well...his response was an interesting one...I feel like it almost parrallels with both of our lives right now...He said (I am going to try and get it as close to what he said, either way, you will get the point of it): "No, I never feel that way about anything. I like to go ahead and do all the good stuff. As soon as I get done with that, it's time to find something even better..."

Maybe I was not only talking about that game. Maybe I was speaking about that game and other things going on in my life. Hmmm...Good advice, Robb. Thanks...

The job we didn't have to interview for...

Life. That is the one job that none of us had to interview for...Ok...depending on your belief system, I guess depends on who just gave you this job...I happen to believe in God. So, I'm going to go for it here based on that...

Ok...None of us had to interview for our positions. Once given our jobs, we had people mentoring us, etc. But, we have all been allowed to become experts in the field of **insert your name here**. Interesting to think about...

We have become, over the years, experts in our own areas. We are all professors of **insert your name here**. I was thinking about this just this past weekend...

Ok...let me back up just a bit...As opinionated as I am, I pick my battles...I will not just sit there and argue back with someone just to argue back with them. This does not mean I'm a weak minded person, it doesn't mean I don't have my thoughts and opinions on things. You all know differently. Like I said, I just pick my battles, and not everything is worth battling over. I will sit and listen. Kind of like a student will do when listening to a lecture over some topic at hand. Always very interesting.

But, we didn't have to interview for this particular job. It was given to us. We had to learn from experience and lend other's our own advice based on our own "professional" opinions on various matters of life, love, and happiness.

You might ask...where am I going with this...Nowhere really...Just a thought I had over the weekend...Listening to others giving their advice as if it is the gospel and that no other way could possibly work. I do it all the time. I give advice without hesitation. It's my expert opinion. It's what I have seen work in my life...it's what I have witnessed in others' lives. It's what makes sense to me! I take advice, I hear others come to terms with actions. It's got to do with the influences I have encountered along my years...

OH, well, I'm sleepy now...

Clarification...

This is to just clarify my earlier entry...LOL...It seems as if everyone has their own explanation behind the last paragraph or so. The very vague thing that happened this morning. I can guarantee, if you are reading this, it has NOTHING to do with you. After I wrote that, I changed my e-mail listing so that nobody who has anything to do with this will find out. SOOOOOOOOOO...ALRIGHT ALREADY!!! It has to do with work. I can just about tell you when and who is going to call off. I get these feelings. Call me psychic. Call it getting to know your employees too well...Wait...Did I just say that? Can one really get to know their employees TOO well? I think not! I wish I could get around that...damn...

Few minor chagrins...

Today, I realized...there are a couple of very MINOR things that simply abash me...Just want to throw these out there...Alot of what gets on my nerves are things that hinder my concentration, or have to do with senses that either make me excited in one way or another...Excited is not always a "good" thing...when someone is angry, or just merely aggrevated, in a sense, creates a level of excitement...

These just came across my desk today only...LOL...Keep in mind, I have only been at work a little over an hour, by the way...LMAO!

* When I am on the phone, don't shake the garbage bag out! Uggggh! I was on the phone and someone felt the urge to "shake out" THREE SEPARATE garbage bags while I'm on the phone!!! Come on now...

*Learn how to pronounce shit! I don't understand...I take great pride in pronouncing things correnctly...If I hear one more person say...Skeee-bo instead of Skibo...I WILL SCREAM!!!

*Goody hairpieces...Don't do them ladies, don't do them...Every Goody hairpiece I have ever owned, has just been dross. Makes no sense...Yeah, they last for a moment...then boom, at the most inopportune time, it breaks...Now, given the whole Greek/Irish thing I have going on, I have thick, curly hair...I need something that is going to go the distance! Scuncii is a much better product...Just remember this...NO GOODY!

*It gets on my nerves that I have reached a level of familiarity with my certain people who have been brought into my life...I can't be sooo specific...But, I get these feelings...Like a cat whose hair raises when they sense something's just not right...I get feelings...The last several times "this particular instance" has occured, I had the feeling...I was right...once again...Sorry for the slight vagueness here...But, I feel there might be certain people on my list of recipients here, I don't want to give away all my secrets...LMAO!

I know that alot of this was just a bit frivolous...but, I just had to get these things off my chest...

Love most of you...