Change...

Change, I feel is a natural thing. Most of the time it is something we don't even realized until it has already occured. We do control, however, where we allow our experiences to wonder to. Change many times is good. Most beneficial are changes that come through experiences.

My heart breaks every time I think about my sister. She is not even a shadow of who she used to be. Her drug abuse has changed her personality to the point she's not the same person.

I'm just her sister. Half-sister at that. I cannot even imagine what it does to her children and grandchildren as they have basically watched their once vibrant mother turn into someone who is unrecognizable.

What to do what to do...I feel like I should always fix problems as they occur. I can't do anything about this. The damage, I fear, is done.

Thought Soup

Well, as most of you know, I have the attention span of a thumb nail. Seriously. I discovered this long after most of you did. Useful information to have on hand, too.

Well, this morning started out just ridiculous. My mind was obviously not right when I got ticked off at church and realized it's Baby Dedication Day. Wow. Well, of course, I couldn't sit at the front as normal, so I had to sit on a different side about half way back. Bummer.

I honestly think it's Satan jumping around the church saying, "hey Cal, look at me pssst: over here"..."Hey Carla...I'm on this side now!"

Then, as I was sitting there, I realized where I was. I was right where Chris and I used to sit. Also at church we recognized Veteran's Day. Again, bummer. I really try my hardest to NOT cry in public. My mind easily drifted...

I so miss Chris. I think that if there is one person in the world I miss outside of my grandparents, it would be him. I feel so horrible for his family, they are the ones who suffer to this day over his passing.

I just wanted to write something about him tonight...I just hope that he realized he was a wonderful friend to me while he was here. I still can hear his voice, his accent, and those stupid faces he would make at me.

Also, I would like to say thank you to any veterans who have served in the military for what we as Americans treasure most: FREEDOM.